Friday, March 18, 2011

The Way It Is: Beauty takes time, and maybe a professional

My latest column:

Beauty takes time, and maybe a professional

There she stood, perched atop our tall kitchen table sporting that cliche puppy dog look.

With her hind-end cleanly trimmed and front half still looking as though she had been mauled by a bear, it was obvious that the triannual grooming session had commenced.

Sure we could take her to a spiffy groomer someplace, but we're true do-it-yourselfers.
"How's it going?" I asked.

The puppy dog look response from the two-legged one lead me to believe it was time to intervene.

He'd been at it for a solid hour, with our top notch Pet Grooming Kit complete with electric clippers, adjustable guides, scissors, combs, bows and mini clippers.

Fine blonde hair littered the beach towel he had used to "protect" the table but it was apparent that Princess Stella was unclear as to the rules of engagement. Hair also littered the floor and chairs and coated the semi-professional groomer from head to toe.

"Maybe you should take a break," I suggested as the princess paced back and forth across the table.

The two headed outside to shake off the fur and allow the clippers to cool down.

With a new burst of energy, and more than a 3x3 space to roam, it was off to the races.

Fur flying, the little lioness zig zagged through the trees around the bushes and between the legs of her clipper carrying assailant.

After a few minutes of this, she was finally captured and safely back on the table.

Scissors in hand, it was my turn to have a go at it.

As the granddaughter of a professional cosmetologist I had to do grandpa proud.

I stood back and assessed the situation.

First, I probably should fill you in. Stella has what most would consider a "unique" doggy-do. If you've ever driven through Maryville, anywhere near West Edwards Street, you may have spotted a small fur ball, complete with what the experts would call a top knot, or pony tail, and undoubtable a hot pink bow on top of her head — yes, she is a dog with a pony tail.

Strict ground rules have been discussed regarding buzz cutting said pony tail but the consensus is that it must stay.

With that said, do-it-yourself haircuts become a bit more difficult.

I scissored around the neckline, trimmed the ears and a bit under the chin, viola. She still looked like a 9-pound lion.

"I think we should come back to it tomorrow," he said.

The next day it was time for clippers again. As he tackled the front legs and chest she began looking more like a Shih-Tzu.

"She kind of has a bowl cut," I said as we stood together gazing down upon those big brown eyes.

"We can't let our dog have bowl cut. I thought those went out with mullets and heavy metal," I said.

Guess true beauty really does take time, as in days, and maybe a professional.

It was back to the table for Stella.

–Megan Tilk is a reporter and weekly columnist for the Maryville Daily Forum. She can be reached at

1 comment:

Allyson said...

When you guys get good at it FAT SHELBY is next.....